I'm an outsider among outsiders. My social skills are less than stellar and every time I open my mouth to say something, I immediately wish I hadn't. I can sense others feelings toward me changing rapidly, and not for the better most times. I try to be cheerful and civil and most of the time even a bit silly because that's all I know how to be. But most times it isn't enough. From coworkers who refuse to talk to me or include me in much of what they are doing (whatever, I have my music to keep me company) to the feeling that I just simply don't belong there in the first place. I just do not understand my place in this world. Perhaps I never will. There are times when the alternative seems ever better, but I cannot take that alternative route.
Friends are in short supply, as in no supply. There is no one I can talk to. None. Zero. Nobody. Writing only helps in the short term, but being alone is not a long term solution. And I fear that I will be alone forever. I do not feel worthy of anyone. Not work, not friends, no one. Not even myself.
No one can save me. I can only save myself, but the path to that goal seems incredibly daunting and I do not know if I have what it takes to overcome these feelings.
So, I offer these lyrics by Some Girl (yes, that's the name of the artist)
Save Me
You walked into my life and told me what you see
I thought I'd seen it there is no one left but me
Every step I take a footprint erased in time
Is it me who lives life in rewind
I come into the light
Where are your angel wings?
Look at me I'm not just some girl
Did you come to save me from my empty world
Oh, how the air changes from warm to cold
Sunshine to a cloudy day
You took my hand and it slowly went away
Did you look at me from the other side
Where are your angel wings
Can you take me for a ride
Look at me I'm not just some girl
Did you come to save me from my empty world
The time has come and here we are can you save me from myself
So take my hand and we'll fly away to a better day
The time has come and here we are can I save you from yourself
So take my hand and we'll fly away to a better day
