Twenty Years of a Fermented Relationship - Aged, Like a Good Wine!

Many of the details have been forgotten, but some were thoughtfully written down in my hard diary over twenty years ago.....

My family had moved, yet again, in the middle of my 8th grade year.  I ended up going to a completely different junior high school where I knew absolutely no one.  There were many kids there who took one look at me and decided that I was not worth their time, or worth their time enough to give me absolute hell on earth.  I had very few friends.  Except for one....

I do not remember how we met or who introduced us.  I believe we were in band together.  As I recall, he played clarinet, and I played flute.  He was the nicest person I had met at that school. 

The 8th grade trip to D.C. was coming up and I begged my parents to allow me to go on the trip.  It was very expensive, and finally, they allowed me to go.  This guy was also going, and I was so excited!  I read in my diary that I really hoped I got to dance with him on the riverboat cruise that we were going to take on the Potomac River.  I don't recall if we did or not, but I asked him a few weeks ago and he said that yes, we did.

We were like peanut butter and jelly on that trip and he sat behind me on the tour bus.  We walked together through most of the attractions that our class stopped at. I remember almost getting left behind at the Library of Congress because I had gotten separated from the class somehow.

The summer passed, and he and I went to 9th grade together.  I do not remember anything about that year except for being in band with him.  I do know that we weren't very peanut butter and jelly that year, but we were still friends.

The summer after my freshman year, my family moved away to California.  I left my friends behind in Reno.  Two years later, as a senior, I moved back to Reno to live with my father.  Somehow, this boy and I reconnected for a short time.  My diary speaks of a movie date that we had.  A friend picked us up and we stopped by Video Maniacs (for those who are too young to know what I'm talking about, it was a place like Blockbuster Video where you could rent movie... like Redbox, but more personable..hehehe.. )  and picked up Sleepwalkers.  I have always been a huge fan of Stephen King, and he likes horror movies as well.  My diary says that it was the scariest movie I had ever seen.  I think back on that now and laugh very hard.  I have seen it at least once since then... lol... My diary further says that I tried not to scream during the movie as his mom was trying to sleep in the other room... hehehe...

Valentine's Day that same year he cooked me the best dinner I had ever had to date.  Steak and lobster and it was so romantic, and it was so tasty!  I remember music playing. I remember declining the offer of champagne.  I remember how everything was so very perfect and it was wonderful.

I also remember how I returned to his house the next day and broke up with him. 

Suffice it to say that I left him for another guy who ultimately treated me like absolute trash.  I cried because the decision was a difficult one for me to make and I was afraid, back then, of being treated too well.  I thought I didn't deserve happiness.  There are times when I still don't.

Our lives went separate ways, yet followed a somewhat parallel path.  We were both married, had kids, divorced, not necessarily in that order.  We've both known heartbreak, disappointment, deceit, and betrayal.  We've both thought about each other over the last twenty years.  Many times I would go through my yearbooks and see his picture or read the words he wrote and smile.  I often wondered if he ever thought about me.

In 2009, technology brought us a bit closer together.  Thank you, Facebook, for allowing connection between people from times past over long distances.  When we reconnected online, we sent a few friendly messages back and forth. He was married at that time, I had just moved to Boise.  Then a lot of time would go by without a word, but he was always there in the background.  I even posted happy birthday messages on his feed a few of those years. 

During the early times on Facebook, I had even told him what happened the day after that Valentine's Day so very long ago.....He forgave me a long time ago, but the weight of that day had been sitting with me in the background.

Earlier in August, he returned to Reno.  About a week after he got there, he decided to send me a random message on Facebook.  It simply had his phone number and a request for me to call or text him.  And thus, a relationship was rekindled. We talked, texted, and yahoo video chatted for at least three weeks, and I made my decision to move back to my hometown, Reno, the place where we met, the place we both grew up.

I had asked him at one point why he took so many years to tell me how he felt about me.  He said that he was really scared, but he was tired of living in a scared reality (or something to that effect) and he was just going to lay it all down on the table.  Now, before you guys go off on things like, "you haven't seen each other in twenty years.  How do you know it will work?" etc, let me just say that there are other underlying things going on that will not be written about here.  Circumstances that prove beyond any doubt that he is sincere about everything he's said. 

His mother passed by while we were video chatting one evening.  He took a few moments to talk to her, then he returned to me.  He said that she was off to bed, and that she loved me.  I asked him if he meant that she said she loved him, and he said no, that it was love for me.  She's seen how happy he's been over the last month, and that makes her very happy as well. 

I've spent the last two days visiting with him.  I met his family.  I do not recall meeting them before.  Maybe his mom, but definitely not his dad.  I hope that I have made a good impression.  I hope that they like me.  Our families are already intertwined.  His mom went to school with my dad and stepmom although they graduated a few years apart.  His parents' anniversary is the same day as my birthday.  His mom's sister is good friends with my step-mom's sister.  It's really bizarre. I don't think I need anymore omens than that!

This evening he and I went for a walk at Idlewild park.  He's been trying to lose weight, as have I, so walking is really good for us both.  We have so much in common, and enough not in common as to keep each other on our toes and interested, likely for a very long time.

We are both getting back on our feet, and starting life over again, kind of.  It is nice to be able to start it over again with the most kind, caring, romantic man I have ever known in my life.  And yes, I said the "m" word! (man)  It is not a word I use lightly because it means so much more to me than the basics. 

Even after twenty years I have come to realize that I did make the right decision twenty years ago to break up with him after Valentine's Day.  If I hadn't, we perhaps would not be where we are today and that is finally ready to be with each other now and always.  Perhaps we would have gotten tired of each other and broken up or even married and divorced like so many people do these days.  Who knows. I left my crystal ball in my other computer.  But, I do know that I am very ready to pursue a life with him now.

I told a friend of mine in Boise about all that was going on. I told her that our relationship has been fermenting like a good wine for the last twenty years, which is how long it has been since I had seen him.  She giggled and thought that our story might make a good fairytale/romance novel...lols....  And the truth is, that I love him with all I am.  And, I know that he loves me in the same fashion, if not moreso.  I'm looking forward to spending time with him again tomorrow.

I haven't even unpacked anything yet!

The Biggest Little City in the World!

Tomorrow I will be traveling back to Reno, Nevada, where I began.  I am leaving behind some really amazing people here in Boise, but even as amazing as they are, the ties were not strong enough to keep me here.  I am loyal to myself, first and foremost.

I will say this, though. Reno is kind of a central location if ever there was one.  Two hours to the West is Sacramento and another hour and a half beyond that lies San Francisco.  Boise to Reno is only seven hours and of course there is Las Vegas about 8 hours to the South.  I've traveled them all, and I must say that there could be a lot worse places to be than Reno.  Home for me, will always be where I began.  Some do not think the same as I do, and that's okay, too.

I am super excited to see my family and friends again, but most of all, I am excited to see my junior high/high school. sweetheart again.  See my previous blog for more info about that.  The time that we have spent together online and on the phone have been amazing fun.  He really knows how to make me blush, which isn't easy to accomplish by just anyone, and he really knows how to help me to feel good about myself.  After talking to him for a while, I actually did see a beautiful woman in the window of Yahoo's webcam service.  I saw the bright smile that makes him so happy and excited.  It was not easy for me to see those things in myself, and even now I sometimes tell him that he's wrong, but know that he's right anyway.

I cannot wait to begin this adventure, so I will start now by going to bed.

The Journey

I've been hashing over how I want to post what will likely be a very long blog.  I suppose I'll go by day, that will make things easier.  I really didn't have access to a computer while I was away, and the one that my dad and stepmom have is even more archaic than the one I have at home, that died while I was away.

Tuesday: The Drive

Instead of leaving at noon like I thought I would, I left at 8 am.  If anyone has ever driven the 95 from Idaho to the Nevada state line, you know that Oregon needs to catch up with the rest of the country and for humanity's sake raise the speed limit to at least 65 mph.  55 mph made me feel like I was stuck in a time warp in more ways than one.  The drive itself is a pretty one if you like high desert beauty, but for me it was really boring especially with no music.  There are no radio stations anywhere between here and Reno, not even in Winnemucca that I could find.  But, I finally got to Reno without major difficulty, not even a flat tire.  Actually, knock on wood, I've never had a flat tire while traveling.

Tuesday: The Visit

I arrived in Reno around 3pm local time and let me tell you, I was excited to see the Biggest Little City again.  Actually, let me back track just a bit.  On the way to Reno, there is a small.... hamlet, for lack of a better word, called Lockwood.  I have a friend whom we'll call Turtle, that lives there.  I stopped by on the off chance that she was still living there, and there was no mistaking her decor on the outside of her home.  Faerie doors, gnomes, wind chimes.. oh yes, she still lived there.  She wasn't home, so I left her a note with my dad's phone number.  I knew I wouldn't get any cell service where he lived.

So, upon arriving to the "city", I went to visit some friends, Nick, Rachel and Jacob who is an ex-boyfriend, but still my best friend.  Rachel wasn't home, and unfortunately, I didn't get to see her my entire trip.  More about that later.  Nick and Jacob were doing really good as far as I could tell.  They were living in the same apartment complex and paying what I thought was way too much rent for what they had.  It really makes me glad that I live where I do because even with paying water, sewer and trash, I still pay over $100 less than they do.  I would like to have a full basement, but I can wait until I get a house for that.  It was really great to see Jacob again, he looked like he was really happy with his fiance whom I did not get to meet.  I was also relieved to see a lot of my stuff that was sentimental that survived the move like a glass bottle with ornate designs that was given to me by another really good friend from Sacramento, and the 3-piece pub set.  Not that I was the set back, but I will definitely get the bottle back eventually.  Why didn't I get it back while I was there you say?  Not sure.

Tuesday Night: Dad's house

My dad has been building a house out in Dry Valley for the last 7 years or so.  He's been building it by himself for the most part and taking his time in doing so.  He's almost finished and what he has done is really beautiful.  It is a two car garage, 2-bedroom, 2.25 bathroom home with an office for my stepmom and the most awesome Master bathroom (when it gets finished) that I've ever seen.  He lives on ten acres out in the middle of nowhere outside Reno.  They get no cell service, but they do have wild cottontail bunnies that come for carrots twice a day.  We got to throw them some on Wednesday morning.

My dad and I don't have the best relationship.  He constantly thinks I need saving or something.  I made sure to clean up my car before I left, which got messy again because of everything I packed and the garbage from munchies on the way, but for the most part it looked presentable.  He always wants to make sure that I have good brakes and things like that, which is fine, but when I tell him that I am going to replace the two other tires that I didn't replace when I did the first two because I didn't have the money, he said that he would pay to have them replaced.  But I think I'm getting ahead of myself.

Wednesday:  The Other Friends

I had this whole day before the actual funeral, which I'll get to later. On this day I decided to go back and visit Jacob as we had made lunch arrangements the previous day, but when I got there, he didn't answer his door.  I heard the tv on, but after five minutes of ringing the door bell and knocking, I decided that he wasn't home after all.  Instead, I walked around down town for a while.

I had every intention of going by the Brickhouse Bakery because they have the best treats in the state, but to my dismay, they had been replaced with some hoity toity wine bar.  As I was walking around downtown I noticed that a lot of the places I used to visit had either been closed down or replaced with something else.  It was actually very depressing, and it was already a depressing trip.

After sending off the stuff for my soldiers, including several Reno post cards, I decided to visit some other friends that I've known since the days of Dark Garden.  I knew they still lived in the same house because of all the gargoyles on the porch.  It was a welcome sight.  I knocked on the door and Adam answered and the look on his face was priceless.  He immediately got off his cell phone and we talked for quite a few hours.  We played Rock Band, which was my first time, now I MUST go out and get a system for myself.  Darn him!  Raven was out at my dad's house this whole time, so I could get some alone time for myself.  I had an awesome day.  I left their place around 5:30 pm so that I could be out to the house for dinner.  It takes an hour to get there from town.  My brother was driving out for dinner that night so I didn't want to miss it.

Meatloaf isn't my favorite dish in the world, but my stepmom makes it pretty good, I'll admit.  It was really great to see my brother, too.  We had made plans to spend some time together on Saturday night as well, so that story will be coming up later.

Thursday: The Funeral

Family here, family there, family everywhere.  Most of which I could have done without seeing.  Some of my family members have what I lovingly refer to as dissociative disorder.  A few of them shed no tears whatsoever during the service, but then what would one expect from a doctor.   My dad, on the other hand cried more than he ever had in his life, to my knowledge.  He now only has one sister left.  His parents are now gone as well as an older sister.  The sister who is left and he get along as well as any siblings, I suppose.

I got there really early, even after having stopped by the store to pick up three red roses.  My cousin, Chris, was there is full military get up.  My cousin, by marriage, Dean also dressed in his military finest.  Chris had a surprise for all the blood cousins, though.  When we were younger, my grandmother would offer us things to drink, lemonade usually, or water, and we always used these metal cups, probably because they couldn't break, and plastic really hasn't been invented yet...lol... anyway, Chris showed up with these metal cups and we all got to take one home with us.  We ALL remembered those metal cups. Chris had the pink one engraved with all the cousins' names and it was really beautiful.  It went in the coffin with Grandma.  It was really touching and made me cry on the inside.

I never realized how many people knew and loved my grandmother.  She was a member of the Rainbow Sisters, or something to that effect and a Daughter of the Nile.  Both of those groups came forward to do a funeral rite during the service.  The pastor, or father, or minister, or whatever he was, did the eulogy, and it was really beautiful.  The inside lid of her coffin even had the Navy seal.  She was proud of the word she did in the Navy.

The microphone was passed around at one point for anyone who wanted to say something.  I didn't say anything because I really didn't have anything to say, but Chris did, and he told the same story he did at our grandfather's funeral which was good the first time around, but I couldn't believe he would recycle that same story.  No matter, at least someone said something.

The family went to the grave site, which wasn't where she was actually going to be buried, probably because there was a tree in the way, so no chairs could be set up there.  My grandmother was to be buried between her husband and her mother, both sites of which were covered by a green tarp awaiting the burial of Grandma.  The roses I purchased were for all three of them. Once for each.  I ended up putting two on Grandma's coffin, and Raven put on on there as well because I thought I wouldn't be able to get to Grandpa's or Gram's headstones.  I did, though, so I put a rose on each and left one on Grandma's coffin to be buried with her.  I was the only one in our family to bring flowers for the other ancestors.  Sad, really....

I cried.... a lot.

Friday: Fixing the Car

Ok, so as I mentioned earlier, my dad is always making sure that I have something safe to drive.  His goal was to make sure that my brakes had enough pad on them and that my fluids were topped off and the oil changed.  Upon checking the oil, he noticed that it looked pretty good.  I wouldn't tell him, but it's because I checked it before I left and noticed that it was two quarts low.  *gasp*  My car doesn't really burn oil that much, but I hadn't checked it in months.  Shame on me.

He also noticed that my tires in the back looked like they could use a change.  The fronts ones are brand new by three months, because I was getting ready to take a trip to Southern California, and wanted to make sure that I had good tires for the trip.  I hadn't the money to change the other tires just yet.  Dad helped me get two new tires.  Now, I'm set for my trip.  He also changed out all my brakes, which didn't really need it, but I don't think I could have gotten back down in six months when they did, so, he decided to do it while I was there.  Now, with a little luck, I'll be able to go another two years without needing to change them out.  Oh, and my steering wheel doesn't shudder anymore.  *happy dance*

Needless to say, I didn't get to visit anyone in town.  I had made plans to see Rachel and Jacob because of the plans that fell through on Wednesday.  Now, I just hung out at the house and watched tv, played Spider Solitaire and hooped for a bit.  It was really nice outside, and hooping in the fresh air, and I do mean FRESH air, was really relaxing.  Fresh air you say.. what's that?  Well, there is no visible smog in the area, not like town.  Every home is on at least ten acres and some plots haven't been purchased yet, and well the traffic out there is sparse at best. So, no smog and fresh air.

Saturday:  The Comedy Club

I was going into town on Saturday to spend time with Adam and Candice because I wasn't going to let another plan go broken.  I had arranged for my dad and stepmom to watch Raven that night because my brother and I were going to spend some time together.  But first, the visit with Adam and Candy.  When I got there, they were getting ready to do some gaming, which I already knew before I got there, with another friend of theirs and a newcomer who hadn't shown up yet.  The afternoon was really good.  Raven played with Khail, their son, and life was good.  I even managed to talk them into watching Raven for me so that I wouldn't have to drive an hour out to my dad's house then an hour back into town just to go visit my brother.  I traded that favor by providing pizza for everyone.  It was a fair trade, in my opinion.

While we were waiting for pizza, we played more Rock Band, and they broadcast it live on one of their webcam channels.  I think we got a whole 7 viewers.  LOL... one of the viewers said that we'd get more people watching if I took my shirt off, but hey, it's a family show.  Perhaps next time. lol...  Then the time came to leave Raven there and go see my brother.

My brother, whom I'll just call Joe,  had purchased tickets to Catch a Rising Star, the comedy club inside the Silver Legacy.  I had been there a few times before although I couldn't begin to tell you who we saw.  It was a while back.  The comedians were funny.  I forget who the opening act was, but the headliner was Cory Rodrigues.  Very funny guy.  If you get the chance to see him, definitely do.

Afterward, we played some black jack and some slots.  Before the show, my brother won $70 on a quarter machine.  More than enough to pay for the tickets.  I was glad of that.  I lost a few bucks on a penny machine.  During our black jack stint, I came close to losing the whole $20 that I was brave enough to gamble. (Not all at once because I'm not THAT brave)  In the end, I doubled my $20 and I knew enough to get out of dodge.  The dealer had the personality of a wet mop, but I left her a few bucks anyway.

On the way back to the parking garage, we ran into an old acquaintance, Doc Cheatum.  That is his stage name.  I actually have no clue what his real name is.  He's an up close magician working mostly with cards inside the Silver Legacy.  He's been there since the day it opened almost 16 years ago.  He had some of the same tricks and several new tricks that worked wonderfully.  He has an awesome personality.  He was almost done with his set and afterwards we talked for a good while.  He asked me how I was doing, you know the normal stuff.

He also gave me some really great advice.  I won't go into the details here, but in the end it made me cry and realize that I wasn't doing the things I needed to do to get my life where I wanted to be.  I know what I want to do with my life, but I have those fears, the same as anyone else.  I am just going to do it, though.  Yes, I will!

Crashed at Adam and Candy's house that night because I didn't feel like driving all the way out to the house.  It wasn't THAT late, but late enough that I didn't feel like driving.  I didn't sleep very well that night, but then, I didn't sleep very well at all while I was in Reno.  I thought perhaps it was the time change, but as it turned out, I just didn't sleep well.

Sunday: The Drive Home

I woke up really early that morning.  I didn't sleep very well at all.  I woke up Raven and left a note for Adam and Candy as they were up late and I knew they wouldn't be up for several hours.  We went to breakfast at Denny's and when we were done it had started to snow.  I thought that I would need to leave lest I get stuck in Reno and miss work on Tuesday.  I drove out to my dad's house and on the way it started snowing harder.  I could tell that it had already been snowing for a while because the snow had been sticking to the non-paved ground for a while.  Out towards my dad's house, it wasn't that bad, and had all but stopped.  I felt a little better, but still wanted to get on the road in case it started again.

I ended up having to cancel my plans with Turtle although I wasn't able to call her.  I felt bad about having to stand her up, but as it turned out, her daughter had a fever and wasn't going to be able to keep the plans anyway.  She left me that message on facebook.

I did manage to see Carmen on the way home, though.  She met me in Fernley, which is on the way home, and we had lunch.  We talked about everything it seemed.  It was so great to see her again.  I didn't want to leave, but I knew that it would be midnight before I got home and that was IF the weather held out long enough to me to actually get home in one night.

It turned out that the drive home was even more boring that the drive there.  I did get the pleasure of setting my cruise control to 55 mph, again, and watch as people zoomed by me.  I thought to myself that they are going to get to where they are going a whole 15 minutes before me, but then I wasn't going to give the Oregon highway patrol a reason to pull me over.  Like they did the red van who passed me sometime around 7 pm.  Yeah, that was satisfying.  It made me realize that my 55 mph wasn't in vain.

Before I left, I stopped by my brother's house to get some stuff that I had left behind.  I was under the impression that I only had about four boxes left and the rest went to storage.  As it turned out I had twice that many boxes left as well as my hope chest.  I was really excited to see some of the stuff that remained.  Old softball team pictures from when I was a kid, blankets that my mother had made, books, and my punch fountain.  I am really excited about that!  Also, all the blogs that I had written on myspace and printed out (about 600 blogs at the time) were in one of the boxes.  I am so happy about that.  Now I just need a hole punch and a binder.  I am happy about that.  I shall have to go back and read some of the entries at some point.  There are other things that were saved that are still in Reno because of course I didn't have the room to get everything.  I will stop by and get the stuff on my way back from my California trip in April.  I'll make sure to leave more room next time.

The trip was a great success.  I haven't had a visit with my dad as good as that in a very long time.  There were times when he made me feel like I wasn't good enough, but then, he does that every time.  This time I didn't let it get that bad and even stood up for myself a few times.  He always seems to have a reason why I shouldn't do something.. like the trip to Southern California... it will just put more wear on the tires than need be.  Yeah?  Well I love to travel.  I'm not going to let that stop me.  I was going to get the other pair of tires replace anyway.

The one thing I found that we had in common was gardening, but he told me that I shouldn't grow veggies because it would be cheaper to buy them in the market than pay for the water, etc. to grown them myself.  I am going to do it anyway, because I pay for water as it is, and it's not that expensive here.  And, I will be able to have my own organic veggies and some beautiful flowers as well.  In fact, I went yesterday and picked up a bunch of seeds, but decided to put them back because even though they were 30% off, it was a little much for me to spend right at this moment.  At any rate, I am tired of him usually coming up with a reason why I shouldn't do something instead of being positive and encouraging.  He did have a lot of tips for gardening for me, though, which was good.  I'm not growing all flowers, though.  I'll be mixing veggies and flowers and make the plot really good looking.  It's not that big, but I figure I'll be able to do a lot with what I do have.

Ok, I think that's it for my blog about my trip.  Over all it was a really awesome trip.  I look forward to posting pictures just as soon as my computer either gets fixed or replaced.  Fixed would be better.  Now comes the daunting task of cleaning my apartment.  I haven't seen it this atrocious since I first moved in.  I have been telling myself that I will clean Raven's room for a long time now, and haven't.  Now the rest of the place looks the same.  Heaven help me please.....

::endtransmission::