Some might say that I did not mourn Titan's death long enough or strong enough and how could I just move on like that after losing someone I had known practically my whole life? Well, as a friend told me just today, people mourn in their own ways. And that is true. I think about Titan everyday. I have his picture and his ashes on the top shelf of the bookcase. I think about the times we did have together both last year and when we were younger. He and I palled around during the Washington D.C. trip after our 8th grade year. That was a very fun time that I will never forget.
I remember dinners at his house, and the time he first started learning to play the drums. He became quite good at it over the years and I am sad to say that I never got to see his band play. I remember the times we went to sing karaoke and how much I miss hearing his voice singing Elvis or Stray Cats. I think about how hard it was to sing his favorite songs just after he passed. I can sing them now, but I still think about him every time I do.
I found a folder of pictures on my computer a few weeks ago that I had set aside for his parents. I did forward those to them, but forgot that they were there. I looked through them and of course tears began to fall.
Yesterday would have been his 40th birthday. How awful is it not to be able to celebrate his birthday knowing that the next day was his death.
I should probably send his parents an email or something. Perhaps bring flowers to their house. I don't know what etiquette dictates in situations like this. Perhaps I will look it up online. The almighty Google should unearth the answers I seek.
Either way, today is a day unlike any other except for a deeper sense of memorium for Titan. I miss him everyday.
In loving memory,
January 12th, 1975 - January 13th, 2014
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