Aftermath

These last few days have been especially rough.  I spent the last three days moving my things from the duplex that Tom and I shared into a house I have lived in before.  I am very grateful for family.  It was really hard to leave the place that he and I shared together, but ultimately I know that this is the best move for me.  By the way, this is move #50 for me in my lifetime.  My mother calls me a gypsy and really, that is how I've lived for the most part.  Moving from here to there and back to here then to there again.  I don't like moving so much, it's just that circumstances in my life have warranted me moving.. a lot. 

The majority of Tom's things went back to his parents.  I only kept a few small things and they are now on the shelf I have dedicated to him.  There is a picture of us, some small bottles of cologne and my drum sticks.  He was an excellent drummer and he always smelled so good!  I plan on getting a few more things for that shelf because there was so much more to him than that.  I'm going to get a mini whisk and a few other things that I haven't decided on yet. 

Although most of my tears have been shed, I still feel myself crying out of the blue.  I know it's perfectly normal, but I can't remain depressed forever. I need to get my emotions in check. I have to get back to doing homework. I have to get back to work, which I'm doing tonight.  Not sure how that's going to turn out, but no matter. I am currently looking for a new job anyway. 

Fish pond that will have fish again one day.

I'm sad, and depressed, but happy to be in the new place.  The old place was simply not big enough even for one person. I was tripping over my own feet there.  The new place isn't as big as some, but way bigger than the old place.  I have plans to refurbish the back yard. It really needs some TLC. I'm also going to replant my garden.  A friend of mine is a permaculturist and she is going to help me get the yard in good condition. I'm also going to try to get the lawn healthy again.  It's going to be a long process, I'm sure.

I go back to work tonight. Not sure how that's going to do, but I can't not work forever.  I just hope I don't get a lot of coworkers asking me how I've been. I've been cruddy, and I'm trying to stay together.  That's how I'm doing.  Now let me get back to work.

No nap for me tonight. Oh well.