Raven Comes Back to the Nest!

It's been a mixed emotional first few days.  Oh, didn't I mention it? Raven has come home!  Went to pick her up over the weekend and so far it has been interesting.  She stayed with friends for the last two years while I was getting things put back together.  So, we have to get used to each other again.  I can be very demanding and at times overly protective and it can be rough on her.  I have to remember that she is someone with her own feelings, ideas and dreams and goals.  That's not the hard part, but I'm not the most patient mom in the world. 

I'm trying, though. 

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to juggle work, school and Raven, and while she's not in school, it's been okay, but what about when she starts school?  The last thing I want is for her to end up a latchkey kid.  She deserves better than that especially since she will be going from a family where she had two siblings to spend time with to going to me where she has no one else to spend afternoons with.  Fortunately, my schedule isn't so heavy that I work every day and I don't work weekends or evenings, but still.

I guess I can only do just so much.  I've really been freaking out over the last few days.  I gotta thank my cousin for getting my head straight..lol....

I just want to be a good mom to Raven.  She deserves at least that much.

Six Months, but Not Really Counting...

So many things have been going on in the last few months that today's writing just happens to coincide with six months after Tom's death.  I know I promised that I wouldn't write about him anymore, but I still think about him once in a while and even less frequently, I still cry.  But, I have actually moved on and found someone great.

For purposes of this blog, I will refer to him as Falcon.  He's such a great man.    We met seven weeks ago while singing karaoke.  Well, I was singing. I don't think he sang that night.  I was sitting at the bar and he and a friend of his sat in the spaces to my left.  The details have become a bit blurry, but we started talking and it was so comfortable.  We've been together ever since and honestly, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Honestly, I hope it never does.

It is amazing at how much alike the two of them are.  They both enjoy the wonderful world of music.  They both play drums and have amazingly detailed knowledge of musicians that people just shouldn't know.  While Falcon is a phenomenal drummer, he is also a great guitarist.  I enjoy listening to him play.  I swear that Tom was there in spirit guiding Falcon to that chair that night seven weeks ago.  And, if he was there, I will always be grateful.  I'm grateful even if it's all in my head.

Falcon has brought out a lot of things that I had buried deep inside.  It was amazing how easily we clicked and I was able to talk to him about anything and everything.  He was just as open with me and I will tell you that I am very rarely open with anyone about anything.  Ultimately, I tell people things on a need to know basis.  I'm still that way with most, but with Falcon, I am completely open.  I really like that.

We have a lot in common including our passion for music.  Although he is more into classic rock (or so it seems), he has been very open to listening to music that I have played for him, and he even likes a lot of it, but that is how open-minded he is.  I think that is someone I have really been needing over the last several months.  Someone who is okay with the me I really am, with the me that is imperfect and the me that is sometimes chaotic, yet loving. 

I love where this is going and I look forward to the next adventures with him....