Plan Z

So, as of right now, I am going to implement the tertiary plan that I have designed.  This keeps me in my current job, but I'll be able to get more hours and possibly be able to make a halfway decent living wage.  At least, when it is the busy season.  I am not going to stop looking for a job in my field of study or at least something close to it.  Or, at least a job that will be of decent pay. 

I have calculated a potential income of what this tertiary plan would bring, and honestly, it would bring more than working full time at a job that paid less.  Although, to be fair, I would have to work a minimum of 30 hours per week in order for that to be true.  There are weeks when that simply doesn't happen.  Then there are other weeks when there are a lot more hours than anyone can actually handle and still remain healthy and sane.  I need these hours, though, in order to begin paying student loans that are due and try to save money for a bigger place. Raven keeps asking when she's going to get her own room.  It's just not going to happen right now.

Such is the lot I drew for myself when I quit my job at the call center to take this position nearly three years ago.  Wow! Has it been that long already? Almost, but not quite.

Everything seems to be crashing down around me, and not bits at a time, but in whole chunks.  I would have been okay if it not for that alternator going out a few days ago.  But, now my account is severely overdrawn, I'm still not getting any real hours at work.  The hours that I will be getting paid for these past few weeks won't cover the overages in my bank account, so that leaves me with no gas money and no way to pay my water bill, which is already two months overdue.  If I had to choose an image to describe how I feel right now, it would be this:

My tertiary plan better work because if it doesn't... well, I don't want to think about what would happen if it doesn't work.

Please don't think that I am only focusing on the negative.  I am very much aware of all of the wonderful things I have to be thankful for.  Falcon, for instance.  He's been really amazing this past year.  Understanding, generous and kind.  Willing to listen and giving me a shoulder to lean on when I needed it most. 

And, of course Raven, who never seems to be out of ways to bring laughter into my life.  And, Falcon's life.  It is so funny watching them together and hearing him laugh at some of the strange things Raven says sometimes. 

I know that it can't rain all the time.  I look forward to the time when the sun shines once more.....