Christmas Trip Supplemental ~ Waiting in SeaTac

This trip has been very good for me. I have learned a lot about myself while I was here.  I discovered many reasons for my unhappiness not only with myself, but with my relationship with Titan.  Inner searching revealed that I say "No" to many things that I have yet to try to see if I would even like them.  I am kind of like a 4-year-old who turns her nose up at broccoli just because it looks funny. (Which I actually did until my 20s when I finally tried it). 

I came to the realization that I am not happy in my relationship because I do not really WANT a relationship.  I see a lot of myself in my mom when it comes to dealing with my significant other and I cringe at the fact that I am so negative when doling out my opinion of the situation, whatever that may be.  And though I have not talked to Titan about our relationship stuff yet, I foresee a broken heart in my future. Not mine, perhaps, but his.  I simply refuse to put him through anymore grief and I refuse to continue to be in a relationship if I am not happy in it.  There are times when I can sense that my mother isn't happy with her marriage, and I do not want to feel like I'm stuck in something I can't get out of. (Not that I'm saying she's stuck, but I certainly don't want to be.)

I have decided that I will start saying yes to more new opportunities that present themselves.  Not unlike a healthier version of Jim Carrey's "Yes, Man" without as many bad choices.  I want to experience more things in this life other than the stuff I am comfortable with.

Another realization I made was that after the awesome discovery of Bonine, thanks, Bro!, I want to do more traveling.  I want to take a trip back to Seattle and spend more time seeing the sights.  There are many cities that I would love to see and although my preferred mode of transportation is still driving, getting to where I'm going faster is a good plus.

The New Year dawns, and this year I am going to make the same resolutions I make every year...eat healthy, lose weight, be kind to humanity.  This year I am also going to make a resolution to be kinder to myself.  I am really tough on myself.  When I make a mistake, I punish myself harshly, even if others don't.  We are always our own worst critics, but it doesn't have to be that way.  We can be more gentle with ourselves and still learn from our errors.

So, in conclusion, I'm making an effort to say yes to more opportunities, eat healthier, lose weight and travel more.  I'm also going to ensure that I am a happier me this year.