Things I Learned From Tom...

1. Life is too short.

Well, duh.  We all say this, but do we really know what we mean by it?  Some people do amazing things before they are 18, some never do anything noteworthy or it is is, people don't know about it.  It doesn't matter as long as we live life to the fullest everyday.  Life is too short to be sad, depressed, stressed out constantly, or in short... miserable. Set goals.  Work for them.  Achieve them. 



2. Labels mean absolutely nothing. 
Be who you are.  I sometimes worry about "fitting in" in certain situations.  Specifically with this group or that group thinking that they wouldn't respect or like me if I didn't like what they like or dressed how they dress.  We'll take music as an example.  There is so much stigma around loving certain types of music.  For instance, I don't really care for country music very much, but is that?  Oh, it's because I think that my friends will think I'm weird or *gasp* not goth enough if I like country music.  (Just for the record, I gave up being "goth" a long time ago although I still love the music, the style etc...I just don't have time for the drama.)  Tom loved EVERY kind of music.  And when I say everything, I mean everything.  He'd listen to rock one minute then turn right around and flip to an adult contemporary station.  He couldn't answer who his favorite band was because he didn't have one.  He refused to allow people to label him by the kinds of music he listened to or the clothes he wore.  He simply existed as himself.  I admire that.  And, he enjoyed everyone.

3. Be kind to myself.

Sounds like a no-brainer, but in reality, I have a tendency to expect perfection from everything I do. School being a major part of that perfection.  If I get less than perfect, then I really come down on myself rather hard when I really have no reason to do so.  I also need to quit calling myself names and putting myself down so much.  It hurts way more than it motivates.

4. It's okay to cry.

I never like crying in front of anyone because I feel like it makes me look weak or vulnerable and I dislike looking like either.  Tom cried a lot, but I respected his tears.  He was a rather sensitive guy.  He never held back his tears.  I won't hold mine back anymore.


5. Family is the most important thing on the planet.

I grew up in a broken home.  I didn't have it as bad as a lot of other children.  My parents loved me as a kid, and somehow they found the strength to love me as an adult.  Tom's parents are still married.  He has twin sisters whom he
 would do anything for.  I always found it so strange that he would end every phone conversation or visit with them with the words, "I love you".  Actually, it kind of bugged me.  I am the type who rarely says those words because to me they lose their meaning, but to him they never lost their meaning.  I cannot remember if I told him that I loved him on our last phone conversation.  It was rather quick.  But family is important.  I already know this, but there are times when I don't think that my siblings or parents know that I care.  I might not get along with my sister at all, and call her a pain in the ass sometimes, but there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her, or my brother.  Or, any member of my family for that matter.  I suppose I should tell them more often that I love them.  Because we only get one set of relatives. 

I'm sure there are more, but those are the most important.