But, seriously, I had to do some reconsidering over the last few days. I went back to the staffing agency, but they decided that they didn't have anything for me right now. No worries. I got a call from another agency that was having a job fair today. I went right down and all I have to do is give them proof of my education, which is no problem, and pass a background check and a drug test and I'm all set. If all goes well, I'll be working again by next week.
Yes, more warehouse work, but I doubt that it will be half as arduous as the one I worked on Monday. Ouch!
I'll just be glad to be caught up on all of my stuff, bills, etc. I know most of us know what it's like to have less than no money.
I've considered looking for work in my career field outside of the state. I am apprehensive about doing this for a few reasons. Most of which are selfish, but sometimes that cannot be helped.
Most importantly, if I do look for work outside my state, I wouldn't want to move that far away. I did find a promising opportunity in Southern California, which would be nice on multiple levels not the least of which would be Raven being physically closer to her dad. Not that he would care too much about that or make an effort to see her, but who knows. I'm not inside his head. But, I don't want to have to uproot Raven AGAIN if it doesn't look good.
Secondly, I would miss Falcon like no one else in the world. He would go with me. At least, not right now. We've talked about this once before, and he was pretty clear that he wasn't going to stand in the way of me getting the career I wanted. I am not quite sure how to take that. Does he not really care that much about being with me, or does he live by the old cliche "If you love someone set them free...." etc. I don't know for sure, but sometimes I don't think he is truly happy. I'll have to talk to him about it one day.
Thirdly, I'm just scared, plain and simple. I am afraid of succeeding. I'm afraid of being successful. What if I am? For me, that's a scary thought.
And, right now, I don't have the money to move. Why am I talking myself out of this? I should be sending out as many applications/resumes as I can. I know that most will not all me back simply because I am not local to them. These are entry level jobs I am talking about, so what really do I have to lose?
But, what if one does? What then? ARGH! It makes me feel like this sometimes:
I do know that I really need to touch up on my phone interviewing skills. They suck like a Hoover vacuum cleaner right now.
Otherwise, I believe I am over most of the depression and sadness for the time being. When I get this way, I usually get my hair cut. I need to do that again. I had an appointment a few weekends ago, but couldn't keep it due to a personal emergency. I really need to reschedule. Especially before Raven goes back to school. She was also scheduled to get her hair done. She wants it short. So do I.
Well for now I believe I will just keep on the path that I'm on. Get caught up and start saving money for a possible move. If I'm not moving out of state anytime soon for a career, then at the very least I'll be saving to move somewhere in town that is bigger than a one-bedroom. Raven is really starting to ask when we are getting a bigger place so that she can have her own room. I've been asking myself that same question. I really want a room to myself so that I can just stay up reading or talking on the phone or whatever. And, she needs some space of her own.
Yeah... my mind wanders to some really interesting places....
I believe I did warn you guys up front, though, right?
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